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I Kissed A Girl…

Looking back now, I know that every one of us has this moment. That it’s perfectly normal for pre-teens to go through this sort of thing and that I shouldn’t have been concerned at the time.

You see, I had kissed a girl and liked it — and the realization later in the evening that I may not be the same as all the other kids, caught me a bit off guard.

Even now, I remember how seriously I took the pondering of my future romantic direction. Did this mean I didn’t like boys? I still felt like I liked boys. There had been boys at the party and I certainly remember thinking they were cute. Maybe I was bisexual?*

I mean, I ruminated. Seriously. I went back over the day and the Star Wars themed birthday party and, as I recalled the kiss and the game that prompted it, the way we both giggled. The tilt of her head and the vest sliding off her shoulder….

Suddenly, I knew I was different.

I had a crush on a girl because she was dressed as Han Solo!

That was the moment I became keenly aware that I was a Geek.

How about you?

When did you have your “moment”?

(yes, even at 12, I was a pretty savvy kid, thanks to my mom).


  1. I think a really defining moment for me was in my 12th grade politics class when I started explaining how the Timocracy Plato was describing was really just what the Klingons had. And EVERYBODY looked at me like I was nuts. And suddenly I realized that I was really that much different.

  2. Anonymous Anonymous

    I had just finalized my online purchase of The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition DVDs, because the standard box set (which I already owned) simply “didn’t cover the story in enough detail”. At least, not enough detail to be playing over those long sessions of painting 40k miniatures (between DnD sessions). It was official; I was a geek.

  3. i knew i liked playing video games, i knew that i tended to like “boy movies” instead of “girl movies”, but i always thought that i would grow out of it. That i would one day choose shoes over games (i do like shoes, but i LOVE games) and that i would “grow up”. I realized that this wouldn’t happen when i was totally unhappy at my “grown-up job” (desk monkey at IBM) and that if i wanted to be happy in life, i needed to do something that i loved, and that thing was making video games.
    I had gamed a lot as a kid, then i had sort of tried to get away from it, because i didnt know any people that shared my interest (pre-broadband internet) and it was lonely having an interest that i couldnt share — when games had “2 player” on the box i knew i would only get to play 1.
    But i had always kept up with industry news, i had continued to play various games, and then i knew — that is what i would do.
    And so i did. Now i make games.
    Games lead me to comics, lead me to heroclix, and off the deep end into geekdom – but not being along in my interests anymore made a huge difference.

  4. Well you know when I realized it- my mom woke me to see Neil Armstrong take his “one small step” and I said “big deal! Kirk does it better.”

    I was 5

  5. It has to be the day my mom taught me how to record my cartoons on the VCR. My sister had just been born and I was a vastly-to-jealous-to-leave-alone 3 years old. Thundercats was coming on and we had to go to a stupid doctors appointment for my stupid sister (at the time, I totally despised her). So, mom taught me to record my favorite cartoons so I could watch them later. This turned into a full time thing with me. If no one was watching the tv, I would pop in my tape and rewatch the episodes that had come on earlier in the day. Sometimes twice. That’s when I knew.

  6. Dan Dan

    I’m pretty sure I can say, with utmost clarity, that I’d probably not be attracted to a guy just because he’s dressed like Batgirl, Princess Leia, or Kitty Pryde.

    I don’t know when I realized I was a geek. I liked what I liked and didn’t care if anyone else did. I do remember when I started finding like-minded individuals who liked comics and Star Wars, though. That happened senior year of high school and freshman year of college.

  7. Ahhh my first geek moment. That would be when I got my first Dungeons and Dragons box set. It was the red one, the D&D Basic Set. I bought it at a bookstore in the mall, when I was about 10 or 11.

    I got it home and started looking through it, and I realized: “There’s no board. There’s no fake money. There’s … ohhh … it all happens in your mind. Cooooooooool.”

    And if that isn’t geeky enough for you, I ran the first adventure by myself. Remember the “magic mouth” on the wall that would double your money if you guessed the next letter in the series? Well I had my characters keep coming back to that over and over until they were millionaires.

    How’s that for early geekery? ;)

    PS – At a LARP many years later, I lusted after what I thought was a girl dressed as an orc. Turned out to be a guy. But that’s another story.

  8. I realized it when the first time I had sex, at age 17, was with a girl I met on AOL. This was also in 1997, and AOL had just opened the gateway to use the “www” for no additional charge.

  9. Let’s see…the moment I realized I was a geek…

    The year? 1985.

    The place? My room.

    The circumstance? I stage my first My Lil’ Pony/Transformers crossover fanfic. Optimus Prime and Honeysuckle defended the Dream Castle from Megatron and, as I recall, some leftover plastic dinosaurs and a lone Storm Trooper.

    I caught the geek early, and there is no cure.

  10. wow the visual of you kissing a girl dressed as han solo is stuck in my head :) great story!!

    I would have to say playing with all my star wars action figures every hour of every day while reading comic books.

    I love being a geek

  11. Okay, okay, okay…

    I’ll tell you the most self-incriminating bit of g33kdom that I want on the interwebz, right now. Not to say that there isn’t worse, or not as bad, or many… just that I’m sharing this ONE.

    Back when I played FFVII a ridiculous amount, it would sometimes be in my dreams. Something else I regularly did (still do) while sleeping is either masturbate or have half-asleep sex. Well, u may see where this is going.

    I KNOW without a doubt I am a g33k, not because of any one thing, but this certainly stands out: I have woken up after having sleepy-masturbation and/or sex to realize that I performed the entire event with turn-based attack sequencing on the brain.

    Is it like having sex but thinking about baseball to last longer? No… I’m not that cool.

  12. I probably realized it around 5th or 6th grade. I was reading comics and science fiction books, taking advanced math classes, and I don’t recall any of my classmates sharing many of my interests. At gatherings I tended to wind up in a corner reading.

    While I realized I was different, it was probably in middle school where the idea of being a ‘geek’ probably gained a bit more of a hold. While I wasn’t the only person who would on occasion bring a 1st Edition AD&D manual to school, it certainly wasn’t something that seemed to draw ‘admiring gazes’ at the time.

    Another reason that it may have started getting more of a ‘geek’ label at that time is that my elementary school class was relatively small, and it seemed like almost everyone was a ‘friend’ even if there were some who I was closer friends with than others. This changed in middle school, and most of the folks from my elementary school were looked down upon because our town wasn’t big enough to support it’s own middle school or high school so we went to a neighboring town from 7th grade onward. Because I was taking a lot of advanced classes I was rarely in a class with my friends, and everything combined to magnify the differences between my classmates and myself.

    Probably similar to many geek tales, certainly nowhere near as interesting as kissing Han Solo, but it is my tale.

    Safe travels, Paul

  13. I think I knew I was a geek at about 7 or 8 years old, taking comic books with me to summer camp. Tetherball? Pfft, I’d rather read Avengers West Coast, What The–?! and Punisher War Journal.

  14. ian ian

    I kissed Princess Leia. Something about those cinnamon bun hairdos…

  15. Well I’ve always known I was a bit off from the norm. At about age 8 I was making revolvers out of my TinkerToys, self moving catapults from my Erector Set. Oh and this one time I brought down this Lego model of a whaling ship to show off during a party my parents where throwing. Bt the clincher was being eager to go to my cello lesson because the teachers son would always have Star Trek TOS on. I think I might have lied to my mom about when the lessons actually started on a couple of occasions.

  16. I don’t think its something I realized its just something I have always been!

  17. OK, I think I figured it out. I was 13 and really into Star Trek. I used to read the “Star Fleet Technical Manual” reprint constantly, and lamented when I saw an original at a convention for an exorbitant sum.

    Shortly after, I conned my mom into taking me to a library branch that, while in the same system, was the farthest away–because they had the original book. I wanted to at least hold a copy of it.

    While showing it to my friend, he said, “Too bad you can’t just buy books from the library.”

    I said, “Yeah, that only happens when you lose them.”

    Then, I swear to God, there was a lightbulb above my head.

    Yeah, you’ve figured out my masterplan. I returned to the library a few weeks later and told the librarian that I lost the book.

    I thought I’d have to pay 20 or 30 bucks, which was still a bargain compared to buying one at a con.

    It was only my best Vulcan imitation that kept my jaw from dropping when she told me that I’d have to pay $7.95.

    But the geek realization didn’t hit me until I related my clever ruse to another friend, who just looked at me like I was a weirdo.

    Sorry it’s so long (that’s what she said).

  18. OMG I had no idea where this was going…and it went to effing hilarious!!

  19. Bob Bob

    I think the moment I fully realized my geekness was my junior year in high school when, instead of going to the prom, I chose to play DnD with my buddies. Chose mind you…I could have went and with a chick too believe it or not! But playing DnD sounded like a better time.

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