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Deep Thoughts and Jerky Boys

Patterns are trippy things…

A friend of mine said today:

“Bad pattern emerging: totally prone to fall for guys who are completely uninterested in/indifferent to me. (Or does this happen to everyone?)”

And then I traded a conversation back and forth with a friend today who can be a bit of an ass, but who I’ve always thought liked me. However, in that conversation it was all about him and, even after not speaking since my Dad died, when I asked how he was doing, I got back word that he was fine, thanks.

And nothing that looked like…”Hey, how’re you?”

Now, the guy’s a friend. I’ve never met him and I likely never will. (After this, heh, well, odds are…) And it’s not his fault really. I mean, he’s told me he can be an ass.

But it’s not like I haven’t gotten mini crushes on guys who were jerks. It’s not like I don’t find myself wanting them to like me, or to find me unique and interesting and worth not being a jerk too.

I wonder, what’s that about and, on a secondary thought train, is it related to my friend’s ponderation above.

And why do I want to quote Al Franken right now?



  1. @Cathy Not sure how to find your blog, but if you email me, we can chatter? ;-)

  2. Hello Girl,

    On topic: Guys can be jerks for many reasons, and one of them includes the primal instinct of domination aka, being a jerk to the ladies they like. Might want to see it that way if you like.

    Off Topic: Been reading your blog and just like this article, I find it very interesting, was wondering if you would like to make a link exchange with my blog directory (it has a page rank 5).

    Let me know if you do and keep the posts coming!


  3. Jerks often appear more interesting because they put more effort into appearing so in order to get the attention they so desire. More often than not if you get to the layers of the person underneath the ruse they’re of little, or no, interest to you, or anyone, really. Yet while they exist they still appear to be more interesting than Mister Stable Wage or Mister I-Fancy-you-but-I’m-no-looker. I’m not sure as to why you personally fall for jerks but more often than not it’s because they try harder than their shy counter-parts. That and ultimately jerks seem more abundant. This used to happen to me. The more jerks I’d date the more jerks I seemed to meet. It’s a strange holding pattern to be in. It only stopped for me when I couldn’t be bothered with men anymore. I went for six months without dating then met someone on-line, as a friend, and we got along famously. That was over a year ago. I guess in a way it allowed me to see him as the respectful, wonderful person he was/is. He’s interesting in the most average of ways and uniquely normal. He makes the mundane fun. I think the little taught rule of dating is respect. Sure love is grand but if it’s not paired with respect then all you have is lust with feelings. That’s my long winded opinion anyway. Not sure it helps much or really says anything.

  4. 1. *HUGS* For many reasons. 2. My shrinks liked to talk about, “Scripts,” and re-writing them. Being hard-wired, and trying to break that, is a little like the concept of karma/reincarnation, to me. We have to work out stuff, in order to get to a place where we can transcend it. It’s not as easy as just recognizing it, I suppose. Idk. I’m still working on it. 3. I tend to be a pushover, emotionally, even if I’m intellectually capable of saying – this is gonna be bad.
    Let me know if you figure it out?

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