There was a great article on how to meet and woo Nerdy Girls and I’ve recently seen lots of posts on how to catch/date/seduce the female Geek.
But I haven’t seen a lot suggestions for the ladies on how to deal with the Geek Male.
Being a female Geek, I tend to approach my Geek Males a bit differently since I’m into the things they’re into.
Now, I’ll admit. I did ask for a little help with this one, as I am not male and perspective is key. So, with the help of @zombologist and tongue firmly in cheek, I offer:
- Geek Males often work in fields that cause them to have to think a great deal and work long or irregular hours. This generally results in what I call “hurty brain”*
*Hurty Brain stems from the repeated misfiring of synapses that occurs when a question is asked of a geek that is light years behind what they specialize in.
Talking to them when they are fresh off dealing with the “raging stupid” is likely a bad idea as they aren’t always able to distinguish you from the enemy while suffering from “Hurty Brain”.
Crack them a beer or pour them a glass of whatever they prefer and let them be for a while. Giving them time to read webcomics or kill a few things on the PS3 lets them unwind, allows the brain to repair itself and gives the beast within time to settle down.
- Geek Males need play time. Whether it’s Xbox, Warcraft, or building PC’s from parts, geek guys need time to engage in said activities. Without harassment. You may not know a Tauren from a Master Chief, but just because you may not get it doesn’t mean he doesn’t think its pretty dang awesome.
Side note: This is true for any hobby, really. If you haven’t found a way to give your guy a couple of nights to do what he likes without interruption, you’re going to find yourself single fairly soon.
If you engage in the same activities (and enjoy them – no fair just “pretending” so you can be included), that opens up the possibilities. Heck, girls like Magic just as much as boys do and any Geek worth his salt loves a woman who knows how rock the DPS. ;-)
2a. NOTE: Geeks do have a tendency to lose track of time and may go over limit. Pulling your geek away from his hobbies may at times seem daunting, but I’m sure you can think of a way to get his attention ;-).
- Let’s talk about movies. Be fair. Really. Asking a guy to watch a “chick flick” is already asking a lot. (On a side note, I’ve never really understood why women ask that. I mean, why would you want to torment a guy? ::grin:: Don’t you have girlfriends to go to the movies with?)
Solution? Trade off. If you’re going to ask him to watch Steel Magnolias, you’d better be ready to watch Buckaroo Banzai. Know what I mean?
- Buying him a present? Want to know what he wants? Giftcards. Giftcards. Giftcards.
Why? Because Geek males are horridly self sufficient. You’re going to buy him a book or a game and you’ll be –so- proud of yourself that you remembered he wanted the new David Weber hardback when you were at the mall.
But by the time you’re ready to give it to him he’ll walk into the house with a bag from Best Buy or Borders because he got it for himself. Yeah, I’m looking at you.
- Lastly, and perhaps the most challenging…engaging the geek male in conversation. Obviously you got through the door if you’re reading this list and taking notes, but knowing how to communicate with the opposite sex is what makes or breaks any relationship.
Learn how to speak Geek or at least learn to actively listen to the Geek in your life.
For reference, let’s define what “geek” means, and for that we call upon the words of a college professor: Being a geek means possessing and being passionate about knowledge that no one cares about or considers.
So, you can see that the geek male is largely ignored throughout his natural life, even amongst his own people. There is hope because being male, geek males understand the logic of an argument even if the rest of the natural world believes the argument to be nonsense. The key is to counter his geek with your own.
There’s got to be something inside you, or easily accessible that you can call into discussion as a parallel to form an argument. Draw the parallel and you’re good. He may not understand it in perfect context, but he will acknowledge your passion for it and your attempt at relating.
He may also secretly wet himself a little.
Good luck ;-)
Zombologist currently resides in a cardboard box with an ethernet connection that is actually just a cord punctured through the wall of that box. If you want to find this ragged individual, check twitter, where his alias is also @zombologist, or just go read this nifty story he wrote once in between incoherent ramblings.