Skip to content

10 Things You Should Avoid Posting on Twitter (aka New Users Guide)

As we’ve discovered, Twitter has become increasingly popular and more and more people are joining every day to get in on the “phenomenon”.

However, as you know, any “Hot, new trend” brings a lot of noobies into the fold who have no idea how to navigate the proverbial waters.

So, as a helpful hint and guide, I thought it might be a good idea to give you a few hints on what to avoid and how to make the most of your Twitter experience with…

10 Things You Should Avoid Posting on Twitter

  1. That nasty rash has cleared up. Go Valtrex. WooT!
  2. Posted bail on that Cyberstalking charge. How YOU doin’?
  3. Hellz Yeah! Parents are gone. Party at my house! 1245 Smith Street, Buena Park 8PM!
  4. Man, if my wife finds out I cheated on her, I’m gonna be so screwed!
  5. RT @cocoa RT @Micha RT @Heidi1975 RT @LolaL999 RT @Kiki6755 Hi!!!!
  7. Anyone help me with configuring my remote access? IP addy is, admin pw is l769.
  8. (a “tweet series”.) Walking into house now > Walking to restroom > In Bathroom Now > Using toilet > Done, skipping hand-washing this time
  9. Hey pretty pretty, you look sexy, let’s bang
  10. [name here] wasn’t the father either! ALL RIGHT YOU GUYS WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT?”

Thanks to @fitzwillie, @revoked @Agent_M and the wonderfully twisted @entearth for the help on this.

Edit: Lollerskates. We have honorable mentions from @phuul, who apparently got his email later.

@uber52943 U r teh lamerz lo1ll11z nub
@lazytwitter Where do you think this sore came from? http://twittpic/gross
So were do I go to see my wall?
Hey everyone follow @sexyspambot6446 she’s hot!
Is this thing on?

Got any you’d like to add? Comment. After all, it’s a public service!


  1. Maroonsista Maroonsista

    The Follow Friday retweets are the worst. I hate it when someone posts a #FF and the next person retweets the entire tweet and adds “thanks” because then we see it repeatedly. It’s even worse when the person retweeting the Follow Friday doesn’t even know everyone in the tweet. Only thing more annoying than that is when people retweet Follow Fridays about THEMSELVES. There’s someone already encouraging folks to follow you. Why retweet it for the people who are ALREADY following you?

  2. “anybody have torrents 4 [insert unreleased hollywood film]? got better things to do @ 16:20 lolz, lawlz”

  3. You forgot this one:
    “I must be brilliant cause nobody added to my 10 Things You Should Avoid Posting on Twitter ;)”

    :D Love you!

  4. How about (for a teen girl):

    Fuck, I’m pregnant. Sorry, mom.

  5. You missed out what should have been #2:
    “I’m pooping now”

    Closely followed (chronologically anyway, score wise it’s #1) by:
    “It’s a biggie!”

  6. I kind of like #9. I’d be flattered, at least.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.