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I took a bath in Port Royal and now I smell like a trollop. Purr.

I’m guessing you’ve heard me talk about the folks over at BPAL and my love addiction for their oils.

Well, I have a new addition to the love fest. Port Royal soap from the Black Phoenix Trading Post.

While I’ve definitely drooled over many of the BPTP items, this was my first chance to try out the one of the soaps. So, I figured, why not share ;-)

Port Royal soap is made of gunpowder-black clay, imported silk, and a thick crust of sea salt.

The scent is BPAL’s Port Royal oil:

Spiced rum and ship’s wood mixed with the body-warmed trace of a prostitute’s perfume and a hint of salty sea air on the dry-down.

Which means, after the bath I just took, I smell like a pirate wench who had a few drinks, paid for a few hours of fun and woke up naked, sleepy and wrapped in silk sheets and fading perfume.


What I really liked about this soap (and it may well mean I go through the bar faster than most) is the lather on it.  This doesn’t just bubble up.  It’s creamy in a really delectable and naughty way.

The hedonistic side of me just kept picking it back up and playing with it. But what I thought was really cool was that, while it was slick and sexy going on, it washed off without leaving any film or forcing me to work hard to rinse.

I know, I sound tawdry explaining it.  I’m going to sound even more tawdry when I say that this is the kind of soap that works on a man or a woman, so I’m betting money it would be really awesome for paired showers ;-)

Either way, I’m going to recommend it and link it so you can check it out for yourself.

Oh and, guess what?

I have another bar.  Maybe I’ll give it away.

Perhaps thar be a BPAL virgin out there who’d be likin’ it? Ye may be persuasive in the comments.

If you’d like to check out the actual BPAL oil, click here here. Just scroll down, it’s alphabetical



  1. @Kendrah, if you’re reading this ;-)

    Send me an email? ggdATgeekgirldivaDOTcom

  2. Oh my…the soap sounds absolutely delicious. I’m currently a BPAL virgin, but not for long. I’ve been adventuring through their product pages and swooning at every turn.(will definitely be placing an order)

    I’d love to put into the draw to win the soap. For that soap…I’d scrub the decks, tie myself to the crow’s nest in a lightning storm, walk the plank,and subject myself to a keelhauling.

    On second thought…would a nice foot massage and a hot cuppa tea suffice?

  3. I…i mean follow, you and BPAL on twitter, so I had to click here and see what the fuss was about. And now, I needs the fuss…er…Port Royal.

  4. Two-year drought. Broken heart. I have lost my inner wench.

    There should be wenching. I am in my prime of wenchiness. And I cannot wench.
    My cleavage and other once-sultry wenching limbs neeeeed a motivational soap!
    Also, *fans self* if you ever feel the need to take that lush descriptive sense for a walk for profit – pretty sure you’ll do alright in the piratical bodice-ripper department. Sheesh, woman!

  5. After I used Port Royal, I would be prepared to go boarding in search of booty!

  6. I’ve been into bpal for years and have never tried thier soap – that’s blasphemy probably ;) I would to try it one day!

  7. shortcakegreen shortcakegreen

    Not a BPAL virgin, strictly speaking, but I’ve never tried their soaps. However, I just had the most wretched of days in that I was taken from work in an ambulance and tossed under the surprisingly friendly hands of techs and nurses and doctors of the ER for a few hours and your description made me smile quite, quite big.

    Which is good because I’m home and lucid enough to remember how incredibly attractive everyone who helped me was and how much like a scurvy-ridden pirate with a touch of DT and dropsy I must have appeared to them. Dammit! Amongst hotties, you want to at least rate as a wench, right? Le sigh.

  8. Certainly not a BPAL virgin, I have amazingly generous friends who can hook me up sometimes despite my abject poverty… I’ve been stalking the site for over a decade and have exactly 4 bottles of oils, thanks to said friends. <3 However, I am very recently preggers and have been having an insanely hard time feeling the least bit pretty or special. (understatement alert!) This seems like it’d be an incredible pick-me-up. I’d love to reclaim my lost wenchitude for even just the length of one bath.

  9. Aye, i’d lo’e t’ try some o’ that soap it sounds di’ine, gar! Thanks for runnin’ this contest.

    (Obviously I used a Pirate Speak Translator. I’m not above using a bit o trickery to win.) :)

  10. Aye, i’d lo’e t’ try some o’ that soap it sounds di’ine, gar! Thanks for runnin’ this contest.

    (Obviously I used a Pirate Speak Translator. I’m not above using a bit o trickery to win.) :)

  11. Does the scent stay with you for awhile? One of my pet peeves with some brands of soap is that I only smell like it until I dry off from the shower.

  12. PS PS

    You said you’d love to give it to a BPAL virgin, and that I am. I’ve been to 2 Meet and stiffs, but have never had enough free money to buy myself anything. Dang college life. I would love to be able to try something new, I’ve only ever tried The Coil and I really loved it.

  13. Have always wanted to sniff Port Royal as well as try a Bpal soap. I’ve been addicted to soap since I was a kid. I “collected” it. I remember having soap shaped bears that I would keep and play with. My mom finally had to throw them out when they started melting in my jewelry box. I think a lovely scented soap would be much better to shower with, and hopefully scent up the air beautifully!

  14. There was once was a fragrance – Port Royal;
    A delectable perfume oil;
    It’s also a soap,
    So wenches – have hope!
    You’ll no longer smell like a gargoyle!

    Ok, so the gargoyle rhyme was a bit much, but this fragrance sounds totally worthy of a cheesy limerick. Would love to give it a test run :)

  15. lerchskat lerchskat

    *boards the closest pirate ship, sneaks into the captain’s quarters, steals his wooden leg, and bedazzles the hell out of it, thus rendering the captain vulnerable to mocking and snickers regarding his “scrumptious new leg!”* Now that my first step is done, I will now nail a plank to my bathtub and wait….crossing my fingers in the hopes that said captain with the aforementioned bedazzled new limb will kick my door down with the rhinestone encrusted shin all aglitter, and catch me, bedazzler in hand, and make me walk my swarovski studded plank into my bath with the Port Royal soap I hope to win! I will smell delicious, and the captain and his crew will come to embrace the glory of the bedazzler in all it’s wonders. He will then be known as Captain Twinkle and the Port Royal Pirates, and take me as his Coruscating Pirate Queen. All thanks to, and because of, Port Royal soap! Arrrrrrrggghhh

  16. While not entirely a virgin, I’m more like the girl who’s done some naughty things but never really gone all the way. Friends who are addicted to BPAL have given me partially used imps in efforts to addict me, and they have succeeded inasfar as I wish to fully lose myself to the company and have my BPAL cherry officially broken with something more than mere sloppy seconds.

    I want to be the girl in charge, the woman that BPAL lavishes with attention (and soapy, wenchy bubbles). Plus, with our a/c dead and no money to fix it, BPAL keeps inching farther and farther from my pocket book. I sure am taking a lot of ice cold showers these days, though. This bar of soap would definitely keep a girl company during such hard times. ^_~

  17. I would love a bar. I have never gotten to try BPAL & always wanted to.

  18. I have recently discovered BPAL. I haven’t had a chance to put my first order in—I was waiting for the Halloween scents which look wonderful. I would love to try the soap!!!

  19. I’ve never sniffed this scent or had the pleasure of trying out a Bpal soap…I can only imagine the bliss!

  20. I’m not a BPAL virgin but I am a BPTP virgin – does that count? I’ve never tried their soap, I’d be so curious! And it sounds amazing!

  21. Ooo! I have never tried BPAL’s soaps! That sounds like a lovely scent. Anything to smell bawdy and free!

  22. I would love to try the Port Royal soap! The salt grains sound nice and scrubby.

  23. This sounds like exactly the soap I need to wash up with before my SO ties me up (with piracy-authentic hemp rope even!) and does terrible things to me.

    Hmm. Maybe after he ties me up and does terrible things to me?

  24. Hmm….well, I just think that stuff would be great for faire when it comes around next year. I’d probably get in just a bit of trouble wearing to work (if I smell like rum…which I don’t get drunk off of anyway….). But I would freaking LOVE THAT for a character in my best friend’s novel that I will be dressed as next year. :3

  25. Ono Ono

    My birthday is on the 29th and my grandfather just died, he was a sailor and a super cool guy. I rarely win things and I could definitely use a little cheering up these days! /DebbieDowner

    On the upside, I have always wanted to try that soap- the desciption of it AND the scent sound heavenly. Mmmmm!! BPAL :)

  26. oh sweet gentle jesus. that sound utterly delicious, and sensuous and other words that let you make that lovely “shus” sound when you say them out loud! I am a BPAL fan, but have always stuck to my two favorites (13, october edition and Rose red) but your description of this has me wanting to find out more!

  27. Mmm i’d be all for trying out a tawdry scent! I’ve always loved pouring over the descriptions they give for various potions and such-i’d love to be the BPTP virgin;)

  28. I’ve been wearing BPAL for awhile, but I’ve never tried the soap. I’ve never tried the Port Royal scent either. Sounds like something I need to add to my wish list.

  29. I simply adore BPAL’s Oils but I haven’t ever tried their soaps…I sense a new addiction!

  30. Sounds like it might make a good compliment to the Bay Rum aftershave I use. I may have to give it a try.

  31. Oooo, that sounds heavenly. Especially the part about it rinsing off so well.

    Not quite sold on their ‘Embalming Fluid’ soap, however ;)

  32. Screw talk like a pirate day, it’s time for Smell Like A Pirate Day! Really gonna have to try this stuff.

  33. You know how addicted I am to BPAL. And yet I’ve never tried their soaps. I blame being unemployed for my lack of soap purchasing. ;)

  34. Not exactly a BPAL virgin but close enough to. I just got my first order of imps last week and I’m loving them! I’d like to try some of the soap, but I’m afraid. I have super dry skin (my mother used to grease me up with Crisco when I was little, no joke!) and I love the smell of Lush stuff, but even their really soothing stuff dries me out. I would love the chance to try the BPTP soap to see if it would work on my skin where others have failed!

  35. This stuff sounds great! I’d love to try it out one day when the poor college kid lifestyle permits more than just bills and food to be bought! =D

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