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Here’s my question for the writers of the show. Did they base the Crown of Spikes on the Crown of Thorns? I have no idea. But, I think they did and Angels being a kind of AI with an operating system makes sense to me.  

A toast to the technology and foresight of the Voyagers

I’m a NASA nut. Not the pensive, slow moving, budgetarily restrained organization of today, but the horn-rimmed short-sleeve-wearing smoking crew from the 1960s and 70s. They kicked out machinery that’s still in use today, and it’s high time we honor a few of their cooler inventions. Namely, those two far-out bretheren we call the Voyager probes.

Whether you’re a fan of the slower, yet more well-versed Voyager 2, or it’s pioneering, faster sibling Voyager 1, the two little craft are still out there, hurtling towards the unknown in opposite directions, occasionally sending back tidbits of data to the horn-rimmed denizens of NASA.

I’ve always felt a kinship with the Voyager program — maybe it was because they were launched when I was just a kid, or maybe it’s because, like me, they’re destined to keel over and die around 50.

The little probes were incredibly advanced at the time, although the equivalent technology (then the size of a Fiat) is now pretty much free with activation and a two-year contract. Each sported a camera (technically, a wide- and narrow-angle) and a triple-core processor running at a whopping 6.4MHz. For comparison, you hipsters with new iPhones are running 600MHz processors. Data was transmitted at a whopping 160 bits per second (my 1984 Commodore 64 modem transmitted at roughly twice that).

The one thing Voyager 1 and 2 did have going over today’s technology was battery life. Each was powered by two small nuclear generators, and each has a functional power span of about 50 years. (Think about that next time you forget to plug your phone in.)

Of course, most people breeze past the technical details to get to the sexy, which in this case, is a gold record containing pictures and sounds from Earth. The Sagan-designed device was pretty thoughtful at the time, although the medium hasn’t aged gracefully. Hoping aliens will figure out how to play the record is asking a lot, considering most of Earth has long since lost the knowledge and ability to spin vinyl.

Whether they’re picked up by alien DJs or not, Voyager 1 is currently the farthest man-made object from home, and is now long past the solar system’s bodies, somewhere in the heliosphere (sort of like a giant cell membrane).

Neither probe is unlikely to approach another planetary system for 40,000 years, but, as Carl Sagan said, ““The spacecraft will be encountered and the record played only if there are advanced spacefaring civilizations in interstellar space. But the launching of this bottle into the cosmic ocean says something very hopeful about life on this planet.”

Josh is the founder of www.geeksix.com — a gestalt site for geeky lovers of movies, games, role playing, and pop culture. During his day job, he’s a newspaper guy, and has done a pretty convincing job of fooling everyone else into thinking he’s a non-nerdy, normal member of society.

After 4+ years of barely surviving, brilliant tactics and existential wanderings, the main characters in BSG ended up abandoning all their technology and going native on a primitive earth. The only indication they didn’t all get eaten by sabertooth tigers? Hera’s fossilized or mummified remains.

Are you kidding me?

They deserved better. Some deserved worse. Here’s my version of how the Battlestar Galactica crew should’ve reached their rewards or punishments:

The Galactica

Face it: She’s a character. And I didn’t mind her flying into the sunset, literally. But some bit of her should live on.

My ending: They save the jump drives and computer core. At worst, the human race gets to play some epic games of Quake while watching the gazelles leap by.

Lee Adama

Here’s a guy who spent the entire series putting himself on the line for everyone else. First as CAG a board the Galactica, then as the commander of the Pegasus (remember his dramatic rescue of the Galactica in season 3?), then as President. He stopped a lynch mob in Baltar’s trial, stopped a Cylon suicide team from venting the Galactica to space, and stopped the new President from getting nuked (twice) in the mini-series.

Conservatively, he kicked ass.

So, instead of leaving him abandoned, alone, with no internet access and no flush toilets, can we at least let him finally get together with Starbuck for real? And maybe give him a tent, for christ’s sake?

My ending: Lee and Starbuck marry and live in a prefabbed structure on a beautiful stretch of African Veldt. They raise a herd of tough, smart kids of mixed sexual preference who head back to space.

Starbuck

After all she’s been through, she just goes poof. POOF. The greatest Viper pilot, Oracle and who-knows-what-else. She Took On All Eight, for heaven’s sake.

Dumb.

Starbuck should be at peace, in the real world, with Lee. They were meant for each other. Then, when she gets old, she can vanish to her eternal reward.

Admiral Adama

No one, except perhaps the President, gave more to keep humanity alive. The Adama maneuver (jumping into the atmosphere of New Caprica to break the Cylon blockade in Season 3) is one of the coolest geekgasmic moments in science fiction history.

So he ends up alone on a pile of rocks, weeping for his dead love.

That. Sucks. Ass.

Can he at least get to grow old with his little Starbuck/Apollo grandkids running around him, telling them stories of the great exodus? And maybe having an occasional drink with Tigh?

My ending: He buries Laura Roslin, grieves as you’d expect, then sees his family name live on. At a minimum, he doesn’t die alone on what looks like the British Isles, surrounded by nothing but half-evolved monkey men.

Laura Roslin

Actually, I’m not sure what else could’ve happened. Roslin was the series’ Christ figure, doomed to give her life to save humanity.

It was sad, but no ending can be perfectly happy.

Chief Tyrol

Not even sure what to say to this one. Just something better, OK? Make him a Boomer clone that doesn’t screw him, or let him see that, in the end, Boomer did the right thing and at least made up for her ill deed a little bit.

Caprica Six

I know I’m supposed to be sympathetic to Caprica Six. But guess what? She helped wipe out billions of people. Then, just to round things out nicely, she helps betray the Cylon race, too.

My ending: She gives her life bravely to give humanity another chance. She certainly doesn’t get to live out her days with them.

Baltar

He’s insane. Brilliant, but insane.

My ending: He shacks up with a primitive Australopithecus chick and they make missing links together.

Helo, Athena and Hera

Of all of the fleshy folk, I think these three did OK. But Hera could use some playmates. They should live near Starbuck and Apollo. See above.

Everyone else

Are you really telling me that every single survivor from the fleet went happily to Earth, where most of them would starve or die of disease? I would’ve been raising my hand: “Excuse me – can we at least bring some shelter and stuff?”

I understand the philosophy behind the ending. But this is about survival, and maybe a little bit of a warm feeling after ‘SyFy’ cancels the best series they’ve ever had, thereby dooming us to years of ‘Megashark versus Giant Octopus’ before Apple buys them for pennies on the dollar to use the channel as a huge App Store.

In the end, the Centurions got the best deal. They got to head out to the stars to rebuild their race. Don’t come whining to me when they return and make us their squishy human servants.

About the author: Ian Lurie writes the marketing blog Conversation Marketing, and continually dreams up better endings for suddenly-cancelled series. Coming soon: Why the end of ‘Angel’ was written by morons. You can also find Ian on Twitter at @portentint

Stop describing people by the color of their hair!!!

I have been seduced by the crack. The World of War-crack, of course. I have recently discovered Outland, I own a stuffed, talking Murloc…no one could accuse me of doing anything halfway. So it’s hardly a surprise that I hit my local used book store and snatched up every World of Warcraft novel I could get my hot little hands on. I got a ton, but I decided to start with the War of the Ancients novels, by Richard A. Knaak. Look, I’ve never written a novel. It’s a bit outside of my talent area. But I read constantly. You’ll never find me without a book in my hand. Since I’ve pretty much cleared out the science fiction/fantasy section, I feel somewhat qualified to say this. Stop describing people by the color of their hair! If you tell me that a wizard has red hair, rest assured that I will believe you. And I will remember. But this guy thinks I’m stupid. Every time he mentions the character of Rhonin, a, you guessed it, red-haired wizard, he has a new way to let me know.

“Crimson tressed spell caster…”
“…his fiery hair hung disheveled…”
“from under his thick, fiery hair…”

Ya know what? I think the guy is a redhead. Rhonin is the worst of the lot, but he does it with other characters. Vereesa the elf is the “silver haired ranger” (also a reference to her “lengthy silver hair”). The dragons are “crimson behemoths (this is said ad nauseam),” “black goliaths,” “ebony clad companions,” (when they morph into humans) red leviathans.

“…red-haired mage…”
“The fiery haired human…”
“…red-haired Rhonin…”

I remember my English teacher telling us to be descriptive. “Paint a picture,” she said. I’m fairly certain she didn’t mean that literally. So, please stop telling me what color everyone’s hair is. Please. Put down the thesaurus and back away.

“…scarlet-haired spell caster…”
“…red-haired wizard…”

Please.

Jenna Busch is a writer of all things geek for SCI FI Wire, JoBlo, Huffington Post, UGO, IGN and Forces of Geek. A New York transplant living in Los Angeles, Jenna has been on many sides of the entertainment industry. Makeup artist, (don’t stand too close, or she’ll glue something to you) actor, (stopped because she felt that replacing body parts with silicone was the first step towards becoming a cyborg) and finally writing, which allows her to work in her pajamas.


Follow Jenna on Twitter: twitter.com/jennabusch

Call me a purist if you like, but I humbly believe that Michael Keaton was the greatest Batman of all time. The forces of good, however, often bore me with their one track “justice” infused minds. This is why The Joker stands out as one of the more enigmatic and psychologically fascinating villains of all time. (See Comicon panel discussing Psychology of the Joker).

So, special care must be taken when you portray said villain in a moving picture show of any sort. This is where Mark Hamill shines above the rest.

The Competition

Cesar Romero

Pfft. Really guys, if any of you can say he was an amazing Joker (with a straight face), I will post a Youtube video of me back flipping over a bucket of kittens.

*NOTE* Proof is required. I don’t just backflip on command you know.

Jack Nicholson

The fact is that Nicholson played the same sadistic he always has (Shining). Nothing, except for his lines, really measured up to what I thought the Joker could be. This doesn’t mean he was a bad Joker. Before Hamill and Ledger came around, he was THE Joker as far as I am concerned.

Heath Ledger

God rest his talented soul. Almighty aside, many contemporary Bat fans consider Ledger’s Joker a masterpiece. He was fantastic, don’t get me wrong. Often his scenes were chilling and infused with months of character study. In the long run, however, it’s more interesting to listen to stories of his preparation than it is to see him though. I don’t think many will disagree with me when I say his Joker created palpable tension though.

Why Hamill Takes the Cake

Perhaps it’s the way he plays off of Harley Quinn, perhaps it is Dini’s masterful writing. The man aged like an impressionist painting, but we don’t have to look at him to enjoy what he’s done.

I’ve never met anyone that can replicate that voice, that laugh. Dini and Timm’s work is brought to life by a character that combined the campiness of Romero with the Seriousness of Nicholson and Ledger. What made Hamill so great was the range of his character.

In the other Batman iterations, Joker pretty much stays the same. He’s sadistic or campy, never both. His jokes are often tongue in cheek or black humor. Never been much of a fighter either, but Hamill’s “Mr. J” puts the fear in the Bat.

Being a kid’s show also helped the portrayal. Since they couldn’t show any death scenes, his paralyzing laughing gas would create situations usually worse than death. It’s often what we don’t see that horrifies us, something movies may have lost sight of at some point. (See what I did there?)

So roll up the sleeves and let loose kids. Who’s your Joker of choice? Will someone be lucky enough to pitch Cesar Romero in a way that gets me back flipping? Tune in to the comments, same Geek post, same Geek blog!


Zombologist currently resides in a cardboard box with an Ethernet connection that is actually just a cord punctured through the wall of that box. If you want to find this ragged individual, check twitter, where his alias is also @zombologist, or just go read this nifty story he wrote once in between incoherent ramblings.

But I haven’t seen a lot suggestions for the ladies on how to deal with the Geek Male.

Being a female Geek, I tend to approach my Geek Males a bit differently since I’m into the things they’re into.

Now, I’ll admit. I did ask for a little help with this one, as I am not male and perspective is key. So, with the help of @zombologist and tongue firmly in cheek, I offer:

1. Geek Males often work in fields that cause them to have to think a great deal and work long or irregular hours. This generally results in what I call “hurty brain”*

   *Hurty Brain stems from the repeated misfiring of synapses that occurs when a question is asked of a geek that is light years behind what they specialize in.

   Talking to them when they are fresh off dealing with the “raging stupid” is likely a bad idea as they aren’t always able to distinguish you from the enemy while suffering from “Hurty Brain”.

   Crack them a beer or pour them a glass of whatever they prefer and let them be for a while. Giving them time to read webcomics or kill a few things on the PS3 lets them unwind, allows the brain to repair itself and gives the beast within time to settle down.

2. Geek Males need play time. Whether it’s Xbox, Warcraft, or building PC’s from parts, geek guys need time to engage in said activities. Without harassment. You may not know a Tauren from a Master Chief, but just because you may not get it doesn’t mean he doesn’t think its pretty dang awesome.

   Side note: This is true for any hobby, really. If you haven’t found a way to give your guy a couple of nights to do what he likes without interruption, you’re going to find yourself single fairly soon.

   If you engage in the same activities (and enjoy them – no fair just “pretending” so you can be included), that opens up the possibilities. Heck, girls like Magic just as much as boys do and any Geek worth his salt loves a woman who knows how rock the DPS. ;-)

   2a. NOTE: Geeks do have a tendency to lose track of time and may go over limit. Pulling your geek away from his hobbies may at times seem daunting, but I’m sure you can think of a way to get his attention ;-).

3. Let’s talk about movies. Be fair. Really. Asking a guy to watch a “chick flick” is already asking a lot. (On a side note, I’ve never really understood why women ask that. I mean, why would you want to torment a guy? ::grin:: Don’t you have girlfriends to go to the movies with?)

   Solution? Trade off. If you’re going to ask him to watch Steel Magnolias, you’d better be ready to watch Buckaroo Banzai. Know what I mean?

4. Buying him a present? Want to know what he wants? Giftcards. Giftcards. Giftcards.

   Why? Because Geek males are horridly self sufficient. You’re going to buy him a book or a game and you’ll be –so- proud of yourself that you remembered he wanted the new David Weber hardback when you were at the mall.

   But by the time you’re ready to give it to him he’ll walk into the house with a bag from Best Buy or Borders because he got it for himself. Yeah, I’m looking at you.

5. Lastly, and perhaps the most challenging…engaging the geek male in conversation. Obviously you got through the door if you’re reading this list and taking notes, but knowing how to communicate with the opposite sex is what makes or breaks any relationship.

   Learn how to speak Geek or at least learn to actively listen to the Geek in your life.

   For reference, let’s define what “geek” means, and for that we call upon the words of a college professor: Being a geek means possessing and being passionate about knowledge that no one cares about or considers.

   No one.

   So, you can see that the geek male is largely ignored throughout his natural life, even amongst his own people. There is hope because being male, geek males understand the logic of an argument even if the rest of the natural world believes the argument to be nonsense. The key is to counter his geek with your own.

   There’s got to be something inside you, or easily accessible that you can call into discussion as a parallel to form an argument. Draw the parallel and you’re good. He may not understand it in perfect context, but he will acknowledge your passion for it and your attempt at relating.

   He may also secretly wet himself a little.

Good luck ;-)

Zombologist currently resides in a cardboard box with an ethernet connection that is actually just a cord punctured through the wall of that box. If you want to find this ragged individual, check twitter, where his alias is also @zombologist, or just go read this nifty story he wrote once in between incoherent ramblings.

As always, don’t forget to check out the Hyde and Geek blog for more toy goodness!

Posted by: Scott of hydeandgeek.com

Diva Note – I have to give extra thanks to Scott for helping me out while I was off dealing with real life. It’s nice to know there are people out there who are just this cool ;-)

Don’t forget to check out the Hyde and Geek blog for more toy goodness!

Posted by: Scott of hydeandgeek.com

I never thought I’d love a sci-fi universe the way I loved the Federation’s adventures exploring deepest space…but then along came a little underdog cargo ship called Serenity. The adventures of Captain Mal Reynolds and his rag-tag crew running jobs on the outlying planets outside of the watchful eyes of the grand Alliance made me enjoy sci-fi in a way I hadn’t done since I was a kid.

One of the driving forces of that show is the good captain of the Firefly class vessel. He’s a real man’s man. He may not live by the laws but he lives by a code of honor more fitting on John Wayne than on John Dillinger.

When I came across the “Little Damn Heroes” collectibles some time back, I just had to have them adorning my selves! So far, I’ve only seen Mal and Kaylee but they’re both so adorable and fun in that anime style that I can’t wait to fill out my collection.

If you’re a fan of Firefly or Serenity, I don’t have to tell you how cool these things are since you’ve probably not read this far anyway and are well into ordering your own.

If you’re a fan of sci-fi or good storytelling and have yet to see these great shows, do so now and you can join me in the Browncoat army (you’ll know what that means after you watch the show).

As always, don’t forget to check out the Hyde and Geek blog for more toy goodness!

Posted by: Scott of hydeandgeek.com

The Blackest Night is arriving!

For those of you not following the Green Lantern books, Blackest Night is a legend of death and misery that will destroy life as we know it. What’s that mean for readers? A lot of dead characters returning to life to wreak havoc on the living, that’s what! For toy collectors, that means a ton of creepy and awesome figures to haunt your shelves!

This second wave includes John Stewart (Green Lantern), Black Hand, an Indigo Lantern and (my personal fave) the creepy and horrifying Kryb of the Sinestro Corps! Awesomeness abounds!

As always, don’t forget to check out the Hyde and Geek blog for more toy goodness!

Posted by: Scott of hydeandgeek.com

**********

So Elizabeth Swann and Anna Valerious are still on the outs, and while I’m starting to wonder if they even remember what they were fighting about, Elizabeth’s still a bit depressed over it. Even though she was the one who stopped speaking to Anna first. You know how it goes. So I was trying to cheer her up with doll browsing (hey, a girl can look):

“How about a Will Turner? Would you like one of those?”

“Maybe if he were in his pirate clothes,” she said dully.

“They do make one of those, I’m pretty sure–“

Lyra popped up over Elizabeth’s shoulder. “That scarf is a girly scarf.”

“Well, that’s just how guys dressed back… now.”

“In tights?”

She sighed. “Sometimes Will was prettier than I was.”

“Do you ever miss fancy clothes?” I asked, pointing to Court Gown Elizabeth Swann.

“Hell no. Well… maybe. But the last time I wore that dress I fell off a battlement. That’s not a dress for people who like breathing. I’m much happier in pants.“

“I like your swash. Someday I want to have a swash.”

“Who’s that in purple?”

“That’s, uh… Catwoman?“

“I wanna be a catwoman.”

Elizabeth pointed to Catwoman’s precipitous neckline: “Is that–can you actually see her articulation?”

“Uh… maybe when you’re older, Lyra.”

Serafina fluttered down to the file cabinet as I hurriedly scrolled up the page. “That Tia Dalma, is she a good witch? I have no patience with bad witches.”

(I closed the tab I had up with Bellatrix very quietly.)

“Can she see the future?” Galadriel called from over on the printer table (she was fiddling with Lyra’s little alethiometer). “I would be interested in another colleague!”

“She can,” said Elizabeth, “but she’s a very, very strange… I don’t even know what she is. Or what that stuff in her teeth is, either.”

“Octopus ink?”

“OH GROSS!” But she laughed pretty hard, which was heartening.

I scrolled up some more, and Lyra pointed to the Lara Croft doll. “Is she an explorer? My Uncle Asriel’s an explorer. He’s up North right now fighting Tartars, I bet he fights Samoyeds too. Do you think Samoyeds’ daemons are dogs? Are they named after the dog or are the dogs named after them? That lady’s name is kind of like mine. Does she explore anywhere cold? Because she’s gonna need furs if–“

“Well, I’m definitely I’m cutting down on the sugar in your diet.”

“Perhaps she, like me, does not feel cold.”

“She looks plenty cold to me,” Elizabeth said crisply. “As if it were, perhaps, nippy outside.”

And there, next to Lara Croft on the page was, of course, Edward Dollen.

Elizabeth lowered her voice: “You’re not seriously considering getting one of those still, are you?”

“I don’t know, I mean… you know how much I like Tonners, and the Bella is super cute, and you can’t get a Bella without an Edward because she would never, ever shut up, and–things settled down with The Littlest Edward, didn’t they? It’s all about keeping the sparklepires properly fed–“

“You realize that Anna would actually kill you, right? She’d never stop pushing Bella off the shelf at the very least. Does mind-reading come standard with those things? Because I don’t want her putting that tinhat back on–” She shook her head anxiously: “It’s just not good for her, having vampires around.”

“We’ll work something out,” I said uneasily. Because… well, Elizabeth’s right. I’m definitely going to have to try to get her and Anna back together, that’s for sure, because if I ever do add any more sparklepires to my collection–and you know how I feel about future Alice Dollens–I’m going to need Elizabeth there as a… calming influence, let’s say.

Clearly, I’m going to have to get out the rum.

You can find more by Cleolinda Jones on LiveJournal or @cleolinda on Twitter.

And if I might digress for a second, I think Michael Keaton made a brilliant Batman.

Until recently, I always thought Nicholson set the bar so high that no one would ever surpass it.

Fast forward to 2008 and The Dark Knight.

When I first heard Heath Ledger was going to play the Joker I has some serious misgivings. I mean this was the guy from 10 Things I Hate About You and Brokeback Mountain endeavoring to reinvent the role
defined by a legendary actor like Jack Nicholson? I was not
instantly sold. Watching the movie totally blew my mind. Not only did he rise above the heights attained by Nicholson; he took the role to a whole different place; one pertinent and interesting for this modern age. Ledger’s Joker was more an exploration of the Joker as a terrorist and agent of chaos than the Joker as homicidal criminal bent the downfall of the Batman.

One of the hallmarks of the Joker is, of course, the Joker card left at the scene of a crime. In commemoration and celebration of the Joker character from The Dark Knight, DC Direct has produced a limited edition Batman Joker Poker Set for sale at Entertainment Earth.

This unique collector’s set comes packaged in a black aluminum carrying case. It includes a deck of 54 replica Joker cards, as seen in The Dark Knight, and a standard 54 card deck as well as 100 poker chips in green, purple, red, and black, and 5 dice. Only 3000 of these sets are available and all are shipped with a certificate of authenticity.

What better way to put a unique spin on poker night than with this fabulous set? A must have for the Batman fan in your life or for any one that loves the unique story of this DC villain.

Written by: Erin Peterson @dotnetcowboy

Since I was a kid I’ve always loved the classic Universal monsters. Frankenstein has always been my fave but when I came across this little bugger on Entertainment Earth, I had to show it to everyone! Standing at 6-inches, he’d look great next to a fishbowl, don’tcha think?

And don’t forget to check out the Hyde & Geek blog for more toy goodness!

Posted by: Scott of hydeandgeek.com