Dear Geeks: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.
Get over yourselves. I know you think you’re a big deal. I know you think there are a ton of us out there and that everyone should listen to what you like and dislike. I mean, everyone you talk to is a geek and they all think the way you do.
You’re not a driving demographic. You’re a sub-culture. A very vocal and localized sub-culture with a skewed perspective of your impact on the world as a whole. And if you don’t get a handle on your inflated sense of your place in the world, you’re going to lose any of the cred you’ve recently earned.
Allow me to explain:
Kick-Ass is a niche film. Somehow, someone managed to convince Hollywood that geeks and comic book nerds were a bigger part of the movie going crowd (thank you Twitter and FB) than they used to be and brilliantly wrangled a higher budget for a movie that, had it been made 10 years ago, would have been considered a “hit” with a 20 million opening. But what am I seeing today? Comments that Kick-Ass “flopped” and all sorts of reasons “why”.
Flopped? Really? A niche film with a comic book/anime feel?
Remember a movie called Kill Bill, Vol. 1?
Per Box Office Mojo, Kill Bill made 22 million opening weekend. It had a 30 million dollar budget (which Kick-Ass started with) and it grossed over 180 million worldwide.
I think, geek critics, that you lack perspective. Somehow you got all wrapped up in feeling awesome because Hollywood somehow bought into the idea that you’d turn Kick-Ass into another Dark Knight. Instead of calling the movie a flop, why not be happy you managed to fool the studio heads into believing you were a money maker?
But, nope, you’ll bemoan the numbers and call it a flop and get cranky that Roger Ebert didn’t like it and you’ll forget to do the word of mouth thing that makes little movies like Kick-Ass live and breathe.
One word, people. Serenity.
2) SyFy Channel
I saw a post today over at Geeks Dream Girl about SyFy changing around their line up and including wrestling. I think J has a point. I think Craig at SyFy has a great counterpoint.
But let me make a comment here. Even geeks don’t watch everything on SyFy. If SyFy had to depend on geeks for their ratings, they’d be screwed. I mean, ask yourself. How many hours do YOU watch SyFy? It’s a business. SyFy isn’t a charity organization or geek television preferences. They have bills to pay.
Now, do I think wrestling is the way to do that? Well, that’s debatable and I’d be more than happy to discuss that with Craig another time. But the next time you want to rant about the programming on SyFy, ask yourself what you’ve done to improve the ratings enough on the geek friendly programming to make it financially feasible for them to expand it.
3) The iPad.
(Okay, so the rant started about Kick-Ass, but this iPad thing has been bugging me, so I tossed it in here)
To every geek out there talking about what the iPad doesn’t do, or what can’t be modified, or how you can’t jack it into whatever piece of hardware, or any of the other grumbling that’s been going on…
…to quote a Mac geek I have a lot of love and respect for…
“Apple didn’t make the iPad for YOU.”
Y’know who Apple made the iPad for? Regular people who like gadgets and geeks who like toys. They made it for the people who like the VW Beetle for the budvase (guilty) and people who want a portable way to read, play games, surf the web and look at You Tube Videos but already have a phone and like a bigger screen.
It’s not supposed to be geek nirvana. It’s supposed to be a crossover gadget that caters to a wider variety of users.
Look, I’m a geek. I love geeks and I get it. I understand the desire to rant and grumble and decry anything that might be a slam to all things geek. But maybe we need a reality check. Geeks are NOT a wide variety. We’re a sliver of the bigger marketplace. Really.
And if we don’t start being a bit nicer, we may end up being marginalized again.
Personally, I’d think that would suck.
Author’s Note: I’m liable to get my geek card revoked for this, but I’m cranky today. And I do include myself in this as I’m just as guilty. See what happens when you let me take a week off work?; -)