There was a great article on how to meet and woo Nerdy Girls and I've recently seen lots of posts on how to catch/date/seduce the female Geek.
But I haven't seen a lot suggestions for the ladies on how to deal with the Geek Male.
Being a female Geek, I tend to approach my Geek Males a bit differently since I'm into the things they're into.
Now, I'll admit. I did ask for a little help with this one, as I am not male and perspective is key. So, with the help of @zombologist and tongue firmly in cheek, I offer:
5 Tips on Proper Geek Male Maintenance
Geek Males often work in fields that cause them to have to think a great deal and work long or irregular hours. This generally results in what I call “hurty brain”*
*Hurty Brain stems from the repeated misfiring of synapses that occurs when a question is asked of a geek that is light years behind what they specialize in.
Talking to them when they are fresh off dealing with the “raging stupid” is likely a bad idea as they aren't always able to distinguish you from the enemy while suffering from "Hurty Brain".
Crack them a beer or pour them a glass of whatever they prefer and let them be for a while. Giving them time to read webcomics or kill a few things on the PS3 lets them unwind, allows the brain to repair itself and gives the beast within time to settle down.
Geek Males need play time. Whether it’s Xbox, Warcraft, or building PC’s from parts, geek guys need time to engage in said activities. Without harassment. You may not know a Tauren from a Master Chief, but just because you may not get it doesn’t mean he doesn’t think its pretty dang awesome.
Side note: This is true for any hobby, really. If you haven’t found a way to give your guy a couple of nights to do what he likes without interruption, you’re going to find yourself single fairly soon.
If you engage in the same activities (and enjoy them – no fair just “pretending” so you can be included), that opens up the possibilities. Heck, girls like Magic just as much as boys do and any Geek worth his salt loves a woman who knows how rock the DPS. ;-)
2a. NOTE: Geeks do have a tendency to lose track of time and may go over limit. Pulling your geek away from his hobbies may at times seem daunting, but I'm sure you can think of a way to get his attention ;-).
Let’s talk about movies. Be fair. Really. Asking a guy to watch a “chick flick” is already asking a lot. (On a side note, I’ve never really understood why women ask that. I mean, why would you want to torment a guy? ::grin:: Don’t you have girlfriends to go to the movies with?)
Solution? Trade off. If you’re going to ask him to watch Steel Magnolias, you’d better be ready to watch Buckaroo Banzai. Know what I mean?
Buying him a present? Want to know what he wants? Giftcards. Giftcards. Giftcards.
Why? Because Geek males are horridly self sufficient. You’re going to buy him a book or a game and you’ll be –so- proud of yourself that you remembered he wanted the new David Weber hardback when you were at the mall.
But by the time you’re ready to give it to him he’ll walk into the house with a bag from Best Buy or Borders because he got it for himself. Yeah, I’m looking at you.
Lastly, and perhaps the most challenging...engaging the geek male in conversation. Obviously you got through the door if you're reading this list and taking notes, but knowing how to communicate with the opposite sex is what makes or breaks any relationship.
Learn how to speak Geek or at least learn to actively listen to the Geek in your life.
For reference, let's define what "geek" means, and for that we call upon the words of a college professor: Being a geek means possessing and being passionate about knowledge that no one cares about or considers.
So, you can see that the geek male is largely ignored throughout his natural life, even amongst his own people. There is hope because being male, geek males understand the logic of an argument even if the rest of the natural world believes the argument to be nonsense. The key is to counter his geek with your own.
There's got to be something inside you, or easily accessible that you can call into discussion as a parallel to form an argument. Draw the parallel and you're good. He may not understand it in perfect context, but he will acknowledge your passion for it and your attempt at relating.
He may also secretly wet himself a little.
Good luck ;-)
Zombologist currently resides in a cardboard box with an ethernet connection that is actually just a cord punctured through the wall of that box. If you want to find this ragged individual, check twitter, where his alias is also @zombologist, or just go read this nifty story he wrote once in between incoherent ramblings.
The always adorable @joshgeeksix (from GeekSix) and I were trading tweets when the subject of crushes came up.
We have this running game. I declare him adorable & mention my unrequited crush on him -- he blushes and mentions that, while flattered, he's unavailable.
Now, a little info...If you follow my tweets, you'd likely notice the following:
I use endearments all the time. I blow kisses randomly and to any number of people including everyone at once. I give lots of compliments. I flirt. A lot. ::grin::
I do all of the above without really thinking about it. Generally it's because I truly dig on people and because I have a tendency to express it without really thinking about it.
It's not just an online thing. I do it in real life as well and I've always had significant others who not only knew it about me, but accepted it as part of who I am as a person and got a kick out of it.
But, back to my point about crushes...
I get crushes all the time.
I don't discriminate. I crush on single folks as well as married folks. Male or female. Heck, I get crushes on fictional characters. My first crush was on Speed Racer. I didn't just have a thing for Harrison Ford, I had (have, who am I kidding?) a mad crush on Han Solo.
Recently I even told a friend of mine that I had a crush on his relationship with his wife. I think the two of them as a couple are just downright awesome and I have a crush on them.
In my mind, my crushes are just another expression of my appreciation of people. Of who they are and what they're about and how utterly awesome or adorable I think they are.
Still, It got me thinking.
Not everyone lives that way. Not everyone thinks that way and, while I know I'm harmless, other people may not.
Maybe I need a disclaimer? ::grin::
Not sure if other people deal with this sort of thing or what they run into out there. So, I was just...y'know...ponderin'
Girls have been going to SDCC for YEARS. They go because they like *gasp* comics? They go because they want to hear about the latest news from Joss Whedon, or for the BSG panel, or to watch Kevin Smith talk about...heck, anything. They are Browncoats, Cosplay fans, Gamers, Geeks, Nerds, Dorks, Comic fans, movie fanatics, book lovers and for loads of other reasons.
I'll admit, they got a few things right. Dollhouse, True Blood. Those are panels I'd wait in line for. I'd have thought a couple of the writers might have been more spot on, since they write for the Hero Complex blog.
But how do you go and kill my enjoyment of that awesome pic of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp by musing that "Alice in Wonderland" alone would be a draw for many girls, but add in the fact that quirky hotness Johnny Depp, right, is set to play the Mad Hatter, and you could have a mad (crazy) crowd of women seeking a glimpse of him on stage.
Are you serious? Think I could get Jevon Phillips on the phone and explain that Burton/Depp collaborations are a draw for a hundred other reasons? Like, say, Tim Burton? You win points for knowing we like Caprica, but I then have to immediately deduct them for the Dynasty reference.
Oh and, these weren't written from a strictly male POV.
They had a female perspective in the form of Denise Martin.
Her take on what a girl wants? "bittersweet tears." And she even suggests here that I should "arrive to Hall H early – as in a week or two before – to beat out all the other would-be Bellas who will no doubt descend" for the Twilight panel.
Um...I watched half of Twilight and never watched the rest. I don't want to be Bella. I read the bio on your blog that you have a passion for Twilight. That's great. For myself, I can't understand why any woman in her right mind would want to be an emo, sexually frustrated teen with a boyfriend who won't put out. A little understanding would be nice ;-)
And, for the record, I do agree with Elizabeth Rappe for her comments here about the fact that we should find some comfort in the fact that the media is acknowledging that girls even LIKE these sorts of things.
Still, I'd like to believe that, one day, they might also correctly report on why.
(edit added 06/17/09: I'm amazed and grateful to everyone who linked to this post. And, most of all, mad love to my bosses at Entertainment Earth for the space to blog in the first place. You are full of Win!)
I'm helping out the Client Services department today over here at Entertainment Earth. Why? Well, the phones are busy (this is a good thing) and the warehouse is super busy (also a good thing) and I'm better on phones than forklifts. ::grin::
Now, to be honest..the EE phones are super cool to answer. I mean, it's toys. Toy people are cool ;-)
But it got me thinking about some of my past jobs and it occurred to me that all of the years I spent in some form of customer service likely color how I deal with the outside world now.
Well, I approach most things directly, concisely and with the intention of getting a result. I don't tend to pussyfoot. I ask for what I need but I still try to be respectful of other people.
The behaviors stem from the things that have made me just a bit nutty while taking calls over the years, so I thought I'd share:
Thinks that make me bonkers:
Rambling. You know why you called. Why would it take you 5 minutes to get to the point?
Not being prepared. You call your credit card company, but have no account number, pen, paper, or payment information handy? WTF? Oh sure, I'll wait and wait and watch my talk time skyrocket.
Starting a call with "You people". Talk about a phrase that is immediately going to make me want to find some way to not help you. Yeah, I charged you that late fee. You know. The one you got because you sent the payment in 10 days late? I did that. I went to your house and changed your calendars. Yep.
Being angry and unreasonable and swearing, all the while, not letting me get a word in to actually ask how I can, y'know, help? Your utter and complete certainty that I am wrong and you are right. About whatever. You called customer service to ask a question that you already knew the answer to or that you negate the answer to once I give it?
You call because you have nothing else to do. Trust me, people do this. I will never understand it. But please, please, please...join a club or go to a class or something. Just calling CS because you're bored is not a time filler.
Now, all of that said, I may as well offer a few thoughts that might help. ::grin:: I've been on that end of things for a long time. No fair ranting without a solution, right?
Situation A: You're upset about a late fee, a charge you didn't authorize, a service they said you'd get but didn't. You are, to be fair, pissed the heck off and you want it handled NOW.
How "Crazy Caller" handles it: Anger, the "You people thing" I mentioned. Name calling may ensue. Call is likely escalated to a supervisor and so on. Or, the response is negative and utterly non-helpful. It's happened. Trust me. Reps have feelings too and they're not afraid to use them.
How I handle it: If I'm calling a call center because I'm upset about an issue, I inform the rep who answers that I am upset, that I understand it's not their fault, but that I need to vent and I need an issue resolved.
Let me tell you, that always gets an interesting response. But, know what? They let me vent, they listen, I get helped. And I'm sure the rep appreciates knowing they're not the subject of my tirade.
Situation B: You got a late fee on your credit card or utility bill or whatever bill you paid late. Maybe you even got defaulted on your APR because of the late fee.
How "Crazy Caller" handles it: (See most of answer to Situation A). Name calling, yelling, "you people" escalation, yadda, yadda and, oftentimes, neither late fee nor APR are adjusted.
How "Dog ate my homework" Caller handles it: Not being mean here, but you know the one I mean. You want to give the entire reason for the late fee and why it happened, how it happened, why it's not your fault. Out of town, mail got lost, whatever. I think it's because people feel like they need to explain these things because they feel like they did something wrong. Not sure.
How I handle it: I mention that I noticed the late fee and ask if it can be removed as a 1 time courtesy. As in "Hey, I saw I got a late fee. Can that possibly be waived as a one time courtesy?" Fast and to the point, right?
Now, you may say "Well, what if they can't do a one time courtesy" Maybe you used that courtesy...Hey, it happens.
This is where the "reason"comes in handy. I mean, people aren't heartless. If you had a justifiable reason (and, be fair, you know if you do) then asking nicely will, in most cases, get you a result. It's possible that the rep doesn't have the authority to do it. Again, if you've been nice to them, they'll usually tell you. Once you hear that, ask for a supervisor and see if they can help.
For the record, that generally works with APR as well if it's a default and it was a one time thing. Bit tougher, but still doable. ::grin:: Now, I'm not saying you'll get your APR dropped just because you asked and there are times that APR just won't budge. But, this is more about sudden changes caused by things like late payments.
Oh and, if you have late fees and APR jumps just because you don't know how to pay a bill? Dude, don't call and get cranky. You know you did it. Just deal ;-)
So, to sum up...here's how you make your life and the life of the CSR's you'll talk to a bit easier...
Talk to them and treat them the way you'd like to be treated in that position?
::grin:: I know. Easy, right?
Maybe next time we'll discuss things like how we all tend to treat people like baristas and gas attendants, but not now.
Then again, maybe I already covered that...
Feel free to add your thoughts and tell me I'm full of it. Just, yeah, be nice and concise about it. ::wink:: (allow me to add the disclaimer. The opinions herein are mine, only mine and this was all done while I was taking calls. I multi-task like a madwoman ::grin::)
I think Kanu is just one of the prettiest babes ever. /swoon
Not sure what it is about her. She was my very first purchase (well, this is the gray variant. I have the original blue) when I started working at EE and I pretty much dig any of the Kanu statues we have.
I'm not sure how it happened, but I went all silent last week. I think it had something to do with being all busy and having cool stuff going on. Oh and the Twitter giveaway we did. And a ton of other stuff.
In either case, it's a good thing to be busy, but I likely deserve a bit of a talking to for letting the blog drop to the side.
What is it about productivity? The more you create, the more there is to do? ;-)
Nope, I'm not complaining. I rather like being busy. It beats having nothing to do.
So, while it's not a huge amount of stuff, two things. One makes me happy, one is a follow up to a previous rant.
And every day. EVERY DAY, I get whapped in the face with those really bad Match.Com Babes on my screen doing that "OMG everything you say is so funny and I'm playing with my hair and typing and looking really interested in everything you say" thing.
However, that's not the conspiracy. Bear with me.
Today I go to post and I am met with a new video of the latest Match.Com babe literally chair dancing and shaking what her mama gave her. I swear, I had this immediate urge to put a dollar in the computer to somehow compensate for the peep show.
Forget any pretense of "chatting". This ad has moved right on to webcam and cyber foreplay. ::grin::
Still not the conspiracy, BTW. Just gross. ;-)
When I tried to go back and get the video to load. When I tried to get a the dang ad to load so I could vid cap or screen grab or anything...
It didn't come up. 25 refreshes of the page the ad ALWAYS appears on and NOTHING.
What up with that?
For the record, I don't hate those ads because of the babes or the fact that they're cute or even for the chair dancing.
I hate them because they're fake. No woman is THAT into what you're saying and looks that great chatting online.
Throw her in a pair of sweats, a pair of glasses and show her swigging a beer while smirking playfully and I'd be much happier. ;-)
Am I the only one who thinks this? There's got to be a better ad campaign.